The Ways of The World

I have had such a hard time in my life figuring out the way the world works.  My boyfriend is always unhappy and it seems anything I do is never ever good enough for him.  I wish that I could get my stuff together and do better each day, but so far I haven’t been able to.  I sure do hope that things start to look up for me because I am getting tired of the same ol same ol.

Have you ever felt that way?  I bet you have, I know that it’s a pain in the butt when you feel this way, but sometimes that’s the way it goes.  I have been seeing my psychiatrist just to talk to her and see if she can help me out.  She wants to give me medicine but I don’t really want to do anything like that.  I don’t know if I start taking the medicine maybe it can help me.  I am not sure though because I don’t want to start taking it and have the bad side effects either.

My brother died last year in a car accident.  Ever since that happened I have been feeling this way.  I feel like there is nothing to live for.  One day things might start to look up though, if I just keep praying.  Church has been the only place that I can find comfort.  I know that things are going to get better and that I will miss my brother less and less as time goes on.  At least that’s what they say, though I have to admit I don’t think I will ever feel that way.  I hope that I can get myself going on a better road soon.  School is going well, I just have to stick with it.

Anyway that’s my feelings for the day.  Anyone who cares to read them can read them.  I am just doing this as a therapuetic exercise.  Lets see how well I can stick with it!

Kim The Dreamer

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